Let me ask you this: You've just crash-landed in the ocean and you have a choice. You can either A. chance drowning and getting eaten by a shark, or B. snuggle up to a lovely pee-soaked cushion to keep you afloat. Why are these your only two options? Because, you cheap piece of shit, you not only decided to fly Ryanair, but you also forgot to bring on board one measly tiny little pound. You fucking loser.
Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary seems to think it would be a brilliant idea to make passengers pay for using the toilet on board. I think we long ago blurred the line between necessary travel need and frivolous luxury (half a can of soda vs. the whole thing...you get the idea), so it just makes good sense that we should have to pay to use the toilet on the plane. I actually feel kind of guilty for sitting in my seat without paying a fee. And that little air nozzle? I don't even turn it on, that's stealing air.
The best part about airlines doing this shit is that they are turning passengers away. They wonder why air travel is declining and why they have a hard time filling planes. Oh, maybe they should take a look at how horrible they have made the flying experience, that may offer some insight. Little wonder so many fucking people are driving and taking trains. Although, I can't say that O'Leary has never had a good idea.
The argument is that supplemental revenue generated from the toilet fee would lower overall fares for everyone. Yeah fucking right. I think we've heard that one before. Charges for curb-side check in, charges for checked baggage, charges for beverages on board, charges for certain (still coach-class) seats, seventeen dollars for a cookie? Does this shit all sound familiar? And still fares remain pretty much steady across different carriers. There are airlines who don't charge all this extra shit, and their fares run about the same (or usually lower) than the others. So why charge your customers ridiculous fees to support your fucking inefficiency?
Here's what I say: fuck Ryanair. I swear if I ever get on one of those planes and I have to pee, I will be going in the aisle. What the shit are they going to do to me? Arrest me? For being too poor to pee? Of course I may get really lucky and find a flight attendant who is into water sports.
6 comments:
Dude, I'm twice as irate as you since I probably pee twice as much, being a girl and having a short urethra and all.
Wtf?
"We can be fucktards and make em pay for that one necessity."
A few...messed...seats will hopefully change their minds on this one.
haha, I've flown Ryanair and let me tell you, its a treat. They don't even print out tickets for you or use a computer, they check a list and then write it in by hand on a ghetto yellow piece of paper. So if all that is going on just imagine the fantastic toilet you're paying for...
What I demand to know is if they will be charging people different amounts based upon the type of waste. Also, if they intend to place buttons on the overhead indicating the types of waste, so that you may just push the button and summon a flight attendant to take your money before you make your way down the aisle. Most importantly - how will folks be punished for fibbing about their type of waste? What if they innocently accidentally go number 2 when it was supposed to be number 1? Do they just smile coyly and give the flight attendant an extra $2.50?
I've never been on one of their flights, and if this goes through then I probably never will.
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